One of my operating lists at Victoria Hospital in Cape Town followed an abortion list.
The list was often still in progress as I arrived to prepare for my anaesthetics. The atmosphere in the waiting room was always the same, though the faces of the young girls awaiting their turn varied. Some were frankly scared, others had a show of bravado, while still others appeared to be hopeless victims of a degenerate lifestyle that was sucking the life out of them. Such was the impassive, resigned face of a sixteen-year-old who was coming for her fifth abortion in nine months. Yet, like tangible slime dripping from the walls and ceiling was an overriding, unspoken, often denied emotion: GUILT. No-one made eye contact with anyone else. No matter how much they denied it to themselves, deep down, God has placed His laws in our hearts (Romans 2:15) and that law was speaking to their consciences.
Inside the operating room, the atmosphere was aggressive. The abortionist had hardened her heart so that she was no longer moved by the sight of tiny, fragile little arms and legs and a broken head lying dismembered in a kidney dish. Indeed, often she was spared the sight as the little body was suctioned into a jar together with blood and placental tissue. The sister assisting hated the list and, by the end of it, was irritable, snapping at everyone. The floor nurse, who hated the list just as much sometimes snapped back.
It was always a sombre time for me to enter an operating room and start my list knowing that for the past two hours the room had been a killing field. Having been so close, I have to speak out.
I have just taken part in a March for Life in Durban. Among the many placards, one took my attention. It read: “CRIME SCENE: ONE DEAD, ONE WOUNDED” How true. The mother is always wounded. No-one deliberately disobeys God’s laws and emerges unscathed. There are so many stories of the way the guilt of killing one’s child lives on in the life of a mother. If that is you, may I suggest a healing course of action:
Firstly, admit your guilt. That is the only way forward.
Secondly, contact one of many organisations that will help you through forgiveness. They will help you mourn your child and come to the only One who can give true forgiveness. Jesus has taken your guilt upon Himself. May I suggest this site: Elliot Institute
Before the March for Life, the preacher quoted from a man who had studied the Holocaust:
“Atrocities such as the Holocaust occur when governments try to solve economic and social problems with death.”
What a profound insight. Which takes me to another placard from the march, and which I have emblazoned on a tee-shirt that I wear:
CHOOSE LIFE – so that you and your children may live.